How We Got Here

So, here we are, the 3 of us looking super happy and put together. Pictures are often deceptive. We can hide pain with smiles when we need to. On the day that this picture was taken, we were all very happy. It was a wonderful day spent with friends and family in a gorgeous park, followed by beer and pizza at one of our favorite restaurants.

This is my family. My entire world in one photograph. My son Calvin recently turned 18months old and my husband and cheerleader, Chris.

When Chris and I discovered I was pregnant, we were ecstatic. Unfortunately that meant moving our wedding up from November to June (whoops!), but it was one of the best memories I have, regardless. From the day Calvin was born, parenting was incredibly overwhelming for me. I wondered what was wrong with me. I see every other mother ‘have it all together.’ I have since learned, that often what is on the outside does not match the inside. And at times, this discrepancy can lead to unhappiness. I used to wonder if I had the “mum gene.” I will tell you that, decidedly so, yes, I was meant to be a mom. I was meant to be a mom to a beautiful little boy named Calvin.

Because of the overwhelming nature of being both a wonderful mom and having an amazing career, I have decided to “outsource” the chores. You name it, I may have bought it or tried it. Probably on Amazon, at 4 am, while my baby sleeps soundly because, well, my kiddo didn’t sleep past 4am until 15 months. I am apparently destined to now wake up at 4 am for the rest of my life. All jokes aside, if you can make your life easier today, please do it. We have hired mobile dog groomers, housekeepers and most recently decided it is time to outsource the food prep. Well, at least take dinner off our plates (haha). The problem with cooking is that it requires time and when you have kids, you don’t have time. You have to plan what you are going to cook over your hard earned weekend. You have to prepare a grocery list, then go shopping, then each day prepare the meal according to plan/schedule or your vegetables are going to go bad. Add a very needy child to the mix and it’s just overwhelming at best. Oh and child demands dinner ready by 5:30 (I would have told you that this would have been impossible to accomplish pre-baby).

After having thrown away vegetables week after week, I decided to try a meal delivery service. After reviewing the meal kit services, decided that actually cooking was simply too much for me. So, I chose a prepared meal service. I will share with you what I picked and how it worked in my next post.

Until then, I will leave you with this: parenting is ridiculously hard and borderline impossible. Add in postpartum mood and anxiety disorder and sometimes we have barriers to success higher than the empire state building. But, you are enough. You do have the ‘mum gene.’ Please take a breath, go for a walk, take a moment for yourself.